Mt. Washington Drive: "Reign of Brutality"

I've tried to imagine the most sinister streets, the most brutal boulevards, the most insidious interstates, and the most pernicious of parkways. It is in this realm that I am shrouded in a cloth of pure nightmare, set about in the maddening chaos of a thousand densities of metal screaming as they are torn asunder, of a million burning carcasses strewn across the deathly gray asphalt. These thoughts beleaguered my tiny brain, for it seemed that such mindless terror was beyond human comprehension. And until today, I was correct.

For today marks the beginning. The shivering wet carapace of our world is coddled in the gnashing teeth of discord, awating the hellish bliss of the moment when the jaws squeeze, cracking the chitinous shell of everything we hold as truth and order.

Mt. Washington Drive's Reign of Brutality has come.

MWD--whose name is e'er printed in a fashion parodying the acronym for weapons of mass destruction--orders the blood-curdling insanity from the menu of a hell that Lovecraft only wished he could have conceived. The Drive on the west side of Bend, Oregon has, since its inception, paved a winding, ceaseless path of unchecked speed and power, and it is of this day that every molecule of its potential has been grasped.

Let this reviewer divulge the seat of MWD's power: money. It is with this bottomless tub of dirty cash that MWD is able to throw countless powerful vehicles into one another, like a fiery bolero of aimless asteroids in space. BMWs, Escalades, Mercedes, all built with incredible engines of unimaginable power, able to reach breakneck (literally) speeds as they pass through MWD's blind curves and peripherally hindering corridors. Thus the Drive can claim its victims. There seems to be a nasty collision every week, and they are not always kind to the unsuspecting fools inside the vehicles. Just two weeks ago, MWD claimed three lives. Pure. METAL. GO.

The sheer number of unready human souls that MWD has claimed in its relentless career is monumental, considering the human establishment of the law and traffic safety. All over the world, countless streets are castrated and left as harmless, accomodating avenues for the faithless to travel through; the worst that some of these can do is a rear-ending, most not even resulting in whiplash. But Reign of Brutality spells otherwise. Even the simple, cheap task of installing a few four-way stops has been robbed of the boneless hands of the Bend council, and there is e'er an absence of man's law enforcement to try and protect inevitable victims. 

Bicyclists are crushed beneath the wheels of an SUV going too fast around the curves near the intersection with Simpson; otherwise careful drivers are pressured to speed into collisions with the wealthy at the intersection with Broken Top; pedestrians on their way to their job at a gatehouse are in constant danger even on the sidewalks, for MWD knows no boundaries. The destruction will never be stopped, not by man, not by God, not by the all-ending chaos of the incendiary universe. Mt. Washington Drive's Reign of Brutality will continue forever, into the infinite dark wormhole of time.

No one is safe.

5 Stars for endless, stupid brutality.